Silence Is Poison: A Guide to Breaking the Generational Curse

There comes a point when you realize that the way things have always been done in your family no longer works for you. What you once brushed off as tradition or loyalty suddenly reveals itself for what it really is-- abuse disguised as love, silence passed off as peace, and pain recycled as if it were an heirloom. The unspoken rules and toxic patterns might look ordinary from the outside, but when you dare to look closer, you see the scars they’ve left and the damage they continue to cause.

My parents’ behaviour had always followed the same familiar script: they would do something harmful, cover it up, pretend everything is fine, and hope no one questioned it... but people can only pretend for so long. Inevitably, a situation would always arise that reminded me exactly why I had cut contact so many times before. Each situation only reinforced the truth: they were not willing to change and they would never take accountability.

The most recent situation was my breaking point. My dad’s predatory behaviour, paired with my mom’s complicit response and desperate attempt to ignore and cover it up, were the final straws for me. They were the last pieces of evidence I needed to see. I knew then that distancing myself from them, not just temporarily but for the foreseeable future, were the only ways to rid myself of the toxic energy of this unhealthy generational family curse.

For me, this realization became unavoidable after years of carrying the role of scapegoat in a dysfunctional family dynamic. I was expected to stay quiet, absorb the blame, and carry secrets to keep the peace. When I finally spoke up, set boundaries, and chose to walk away, part of me felt like I was betraying my family. The guilt that followed was heavy, but in hindsight I can see that choosing authenticity over silence was never betrayal, it was freedom.

Maybe you have felt this way too. The confusion, the disorienting beliefs, the twisted version of “normal” that was instilled in us from childhood runs deep. It can make you second-guess yourself, doubt your truth, and feel guilty for simply wanting to live with authenticity and integrity. The moment you realize silence is poison, you also realize that breaking free is the only way forward.

Why It Feels Like Betrayal

Family cycles are powerful because they are tied to loyalty. From the time you are young, you are taught, directly or indirectly, that questioning the family system means you are ungrateful, selfish, or even cruel. The message is clear: loyalty to the family is more important than loyalty to yourself.

So when you finally decide you will no longer tolerate the abuse, silent treatments, manipulation, or the absence of safety, it can feel like you are cutting yourself off from your own bloodline. The weight of that choice can sit heavy, because family is supposed to be your safe place. Walking away can feel like turning your back on your roots, like betraying the people who raised you. However, the truth is very different. Breaking patterns is not rejection. It is transformation. It is the choice to stop carrying what was never yours to hold and to stop passing down pain disguised as tradition. It is the act of choosing truth over illusion, health over dysfunction, and freedom over silence.

That is not betrayal, it is the deepest act of courage.

Honouring By Becoming

When I decided to stop living under those rules and instead build a life rooted in authenticity, wellness, and intentionality, I realized I was not betraying my family. I was actually honoring them by becoming who they were incapable of becoming themselves.

They chose to keep the generational cycle alive instead of ending it with them, but I made the decision to ensure it ends with me. I know my brothers have found their own ways of breaking free from the cycle as well. If you are reading this blog, I hope you can find the strength to end your own generational curse too and create a new legacy of truth, freedom, and authenticity.

Looking back now, I can see countless ways I have chosen to break the curse by honouring myself, standing in my integrity, and aligning with my own authenticity. Choosing a supportive, healthy partner was one. Closing down my bakery business to align with my passion for health and wellness was another. Writing self-help books about my truth and experiences so others know they are not alone has been another. And speaking up, calling out my family’s harmful behaviour, and refusing to stay silent is yet another way I continue to walk my path as a generational healer.

Now it is your turn to look closely at your own life. Ask yourself where you are still carrying patterns that were never meant for you. Notice the rules, the silence, or the pain you have been taught to normalize, and dare to imagine what it would look like to finally put it down. Breaking the cycle does not start with a grand gesture, it starts with one brave choice to live in alignment with who you truly are.

The Ripple Effect

Breaking a cycle is never just about you. Every time you choose honesty instead of silence or self-worth instead of approval, the impact ripples outward.

The people I connect and work with, the readers of my books, and the audience who follows my journey all benefit from the patterns I chose to break. The same can be true for you too.

This is how generational healing works. By refusing to inherit the dysfunction and pass it forward, you create space for others to see that they can do the same.

Moving Beyond the Guilt

If you have ever felt guilty for setting boundaries or speaking your truth, remember that the discomfort is proof you are doing something new. Growth is uncomfortable, but it is necessary.

I no longer see my choices as betrayal. They are acts of respect. By choosing authenticity, I am showing future generations that it is possible to create a life rooted in truth, freedom, and alignment.

I believe some of us are born into dysfunctional families with the very specific role of breaking the generational curse. We are the ones who see the patterns clearly, who feel the pain deeply, and who have the strength to say when enough is enough. It is not an easy path, but it is a sacred one.

You are not betraying your family by breaking the cycle. You are honouring them by becoming who they could not. And in doing so, you are creating a path that allows others, both in your family line and in your wider circle, to live freer, lighter, and more authentically.

The cycle may have started before you, but it can end with you. That is the gift, and the legacy, of being a cycle breaker.